29-Year-Old Health Guru Chugs Sperm Smoothies To Boost Immunity

Mary Poppins once said a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Well now another quirky British lady has put a unique twist on that advice. Tracy Kiss of Buckinghamshire, England drinks a spoonful of SPERM every morning to help boost her immunity.

Sure lady, we all have our morning routines. Some folks get a cup of Starbucks or go for a jog. This 29-year-old mother of two pops a dollop of her “best friends” baby batter into a smoothie. The personal trainer has been advocating the health benefits of semen for years, previously saying that rubbing man butter on her face improved skin.

Now, she says the daily jizz juicy really gets her going. She says;

“I’d been feeling run down and had no energy, but now I’m full of beans and my mood has improved. It can taste really good – depending on what my friend has been eating. My other mates think I’m strange, but I don’t give a toss.”

I wonder if Jamba Juice will add this to their menu of Boosts?

She will either drink it in a shake or sometimes do a straight shot of the love good. She continues;   

“If he’s been drinking alcohol or eaten something particularly pungent like asparagus, I ask him to give me a heads up so I know not to drink it neat. Things like pineapple and peppermint make it taste better, but I’ll happily take it straight off a spoon usually. Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating.”

Kiss gets of sperm from her friend, a 31-year-old single dude, who brings over a fresh load three times a week. I know what ya’ll are thinking, but it seem that he makes the “donations” solo at home before they enter the protein shake. She then keeps a tub of the stuff in the refrigerator next to the mayonnaise .  

She says her sperm donor was terrified she would try to use his seed to get pregnant before she convinced him it was just for her health shakes. She knows he doesn’t use drugs or alcohol and he agreed to be tested for STDs. She thinks  everyone should try it:

 “Sperm is an awesome product and we should stop being so ridiculous about it – the health benefits have been well researched and more women and men should take advantage of it particularly as its made by our own bodies and doesn’t contain e-numbers and chemicals.”

Oh man, people will subscribe to ANYTHING these days, so can we please get a “hip new trend” going where suburban housewives and stay at home moms are chugging sperm? Please share this hot new health tip in your Facebook feed. Who the hell knows or cares if it works, but that hasn’t stopped people before. Right after she get home from Yoga class and has her chakras “cleansed” she can slurp down a refreshing sperm smoothie sitting next to her salt lamp.

Do you think there are any health benefits to drinking sperm? Would you try it?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

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