Another week, another weirdo! That’s Florida’s state slogan, right? Pretty sure I’m right about that. Don’t fact check me. I’m right.
Welcome to this week’s edition of 5 Ridiculous, Real Crimes Committed In Florida! The Sunshine State never disappoints, so let’s do what this tour guide did and dive right in:
5. Man Eats It In Intersection
According to a Facebook post by the Lakeland Police Department, Kiaron Thomas, 21 years old, is being charged with placing an obstruction in the roadway and disrupting the free flow of traffic.
What did he do, you ask? He decided to eat his breakfast of pancakes in the middle of an intersection.
Instead of getting breakfast “to go,” he got it “to go to jail.”
Lucky those cars stopped in time, otherwise he would have been a pancake.
Breakfast? More like, brake fast! Get it? Cuz the drivers have to brake…ok, moving on.
4. CVS ExtraCare Pays Man Back With Jail
A fugitive was captured this week in Key West, Florida, after using his CVS ExtraCare Rewards card. Apparently he’s wanted in Georgia for a slew of crimes including felony strangulation and aggravated assault with a weapon.
Apparently he wasn’t aggravated when the store clerk asked, “And do you have a rewards card with us?”
When you’re on the run, you need to strangle every last penny from your budget.
One thing he can’t buy with that card – a ticket on that midnight train to Georgia.
3. If The Shoe Fits – You Must Not Acquit
Yes, you are correct – that IS the face of a man who robbed someone’s house and left his own shoe at the scene of the crime! But that’s not all – according to this story, he left the house with only one shoe, went back, came out again with more items and still ONLY ONE SHOE.
How do we know all of this? Because everything was recorded by the homeowner’s surveillance video.
2. A Real Boobie Trap
Aaaaand we’re back in Lakeland, Florida! According to police, 20-year-old Nyaira Thomas used a stolen credit card to pay for her plastic surgery. The procedures included breast implants, liposuction, lip injections, and a butt lift.
She also used a friend’s address on the forms so her mom wouldn’t find out about the surgeries. I think that was the least of her concerns here.
1. It’s Everyone’s Faaaavorite Game Show – Wheel Of Fugitives!
This is a real thing. That is all.