Your “soulmate” might be out there somewhere, and if by chance you encounter them during your lifetime you might accidently miss the opportunity to talk to them. You could spend eternity wishing you had.
That is the message we get from some of these sadly gut wrenching Craigslist Missed Connections posts. Happy Valentine’s Day!
1. Feeling The Love Bern
“You were sitting a couple rows ahead of me at the education rally today….I couldn’t keep my eyes off you and really wanted to approach you after the rally, but got stuck in a conversation with the nice lady who was sitting next to me and didn’t have a chance. You had a baseball hat on, and a sweat shirt something to do with the Fire department…I would love to chat with you and even do some volunteering for Bernie! Long shot, but if you see this, get in touch :)”
2. Hopeless Romantic Needs To Be Less Shy
“I tirelessly check the missed connections in the vain hope that some beautiful soul is out in search of me. The many times I’ve locked eyes with a stranger and become filled with anxiety makes me check more religiously but I think it’s fair to say that my turn may never come.
The jealousy turns my blood green only to subside into poisonous breath as I exhale. Maybe soon I’ll be able to break my addiction and stop thinking I look so cute…. Sincerely, F”
3. Bill Murray Would Know What To Do
“Approx. 10am, Tuesday, Feb 2., (groundhog day), you were walking out as I was coming in. I held the door open for you, and you flashed a beautiful, warm, sweet, spirit-lifting smile. It totally captivated me, not just for how pretty it was, but how genuinely warm you seemed to be.
If I was Bill Murray, and like the movie I could replay that moment over again and again, maybe I would have arranged it better so I would have eventually said hello….but, no such luck, so this is the only way to try and gain an introduction.
I was older, in a suit and tie, and you were in yoga pants. If you think you’re the young lady I am seeking, tell me what color my suit was, and your yoga pants.”
4. These Comic Geeks Need To Go To The Batcave.
“Hi, my friend and I were at One Girl Cookies earlier today when you were working, and I couldn’t help checking you out. We were the girls sitting at the back counter … my friend was in the TMNT sweatshirt [that you complimented her on], and I was the one in the pink tshirt that kept making excuses to say stuff to you. Found your dj skills endearing, and wish you had said bye before you left. Maybe will cross paths again, and I hope you enjoyed rooting for the Broncos. :-)”
5. Hopefully This Is Romantic
“I was sitting down on a corner seat when you walked into the train right across from me. beige jacket, blue jeans, long brown hair and beautiful. we looked at each other a couple of times and gave slight smiles. i get up on the next stop, walk by you as close as i can and say hi. i walk out of the train and now i cant stop thinking of you. if by some chance you see this you should reply. id like to get to know you. till then ill hope to see you again. tell me what stop i got off or what i was wearing so i know its you.”
6. In Search Of A Valentine
“What you see in those pictures is the result of 20 hours of labor. Finding the perfect studio, just with the right decor. Searching for the right concert to be playing on the screen. Looking for the best fruits, tastiest biscotti’s, and just the right chocolate. Walking 3 miles to find the right vase.
I did all of that because I loved her. As a friend. That was the best Valentine’s Day I ever had, but I wasn’t in love with her. I’m the stereotypical, clichéd, hopeless romantic you think only exists in chick flicks. Think Tom Hanson in the movie “500 Days Of Summer”. The problem is I’ve been searching so hard, instead of just letting it come to me…”
7. Two Cars Passing In The Day
“I was getting on the highway the other morning when this absolutely adorable curly blond girl in this super rad old school yellow beetle and I made eye contact. She had the biggest smile and my face instantly lit up. I looked out my rearview and she threw me a piece sign. I would love the chance to just talk to you. You made my day:)”
8. Looking For Love At Late Night Breakfast
“I hope you find this and reach out to me. Around 11.00pm to 12.30am. I was there alone and had my head buried in books. Later on a younger male friend joined me. You were there with a Male Friend and were sitted across from my table. Your male friend ordered Breakfast for you too. You tired to get my attention. You are a petite Blonde. What colour socks was I wearing?”
9. This Guy Saw His Long Lost Lover On A Train In This Epic Missed Connection
We were married for three days in 1989, and I saw you on the subway
“In the winter of 1989 I transferred to NYU from the University of Southern Maine, intent upon studying poetry, nursing youthful fantasies of literary success. I was terribly nervous about making friends – in addition to submerging myself in a completely unfamiliar, and overwhelming urban environment, I was terribly shy, often displaying a reluctant timidity towards strangers. You lived in the same dorm building as me – a mishmash of dimly lit and shabbily painted converted office space on West 10th street. You, and a small handful of high school friends, had come to college together from Chicago. You had red hair, your favorite band was The Replacements, you were studying French, and we were introduced by my new roommate. You and your Chicago friends were nice enough to take me out on the town several times in those first few weeks and in the process we struck up a casual romance – although the youthful pressure to keep things “casual” often yanked at the oversensitive ventricles of my heart.
It was on a Sunday evening, when a small group of friends was smoking weed in your dorm room and watching Brewster’s Millions, that one of our friends proposed the bet: the first person in the room to get married would be awarded $30 – the cost of a New York State marriage license. The next morning, inspired as much by the novelty of the bet as my affection for you, I asked if you wanted to go to City Hall and get married – you said yes. The Justice of the Peace looked like Hank Williams Jr. and reeked of whiskey. We signed the marriage license, and on our walk back uptown to Washington Square, we ducked into bar after bar, brandishing our new union as a means of getting free drinks. Half-drunk, and half-in love, we returned to the dorm room, where our roommates, laughing through their disbelief, pooled together thirty dollars.
Fearing our family’s reactions – three days later we had the marriage annulled, and again, this time with paperwork indicating our ‘separation,’ managed to get some free drinks out of the deal. For the rest of the semester I slept in your bed, jokingly referring to you as my ex-wife. Two weeks before the end of the semester, I received word that my estranged father – an ex-pat living in rural Japan, was dying of cancer of the esophagus. I left immediately to go to his bedside, watching him teeter on life and death for the next six months. As this was pre-Internet, and my father’s village lacked even telephone lines, we lost touch. That brings me to today. This morning, the L train was typically hectic – car after car was so packed to the brim with people, that I was waiting patiently for a less crowded train to board. At one moment, looking up from my newspaper, we made eye contact – you were packed in like a sardine among the other morning commuters. I saw the flash of recognition in your eyes, our [jaws] dropping in disbelief.
I stayed in Japan for another eight years, before returning to the United States where I built a decent career writing, not poems, but teleplays. I have lived all over the country, but only recently moved back to New York. I am once divorced, and have two daughters. When I saw you, I felt all those years folding in on themselves, and have now spent the entire morning wondering what your life is like. It is perhaps an absurd suggestion, but would you maybe like to get a cup of coffee and catch up on a quarter century of life?”
Don’t worry, even if these folks never find true happiness with each other, be rest assured that for every romantic gesture on the Internet, there are 100 creepers out there, like this fella into pregnant chicks.
Hey, I saw you today waddling thru the mall in west covina, wearing a tight pink shirt stretched over your pregnant belly. You looked to be pretty far along, and were absolutely gorgeous. You definitely caught my eye but I don’t know if you noticed me… if so, send me a message 🙂
Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney