Canada, get ready to laugh hysterically at Kids in the Hall sketches you’ve already seen 500 times: legal weed is on the way!
Your dreamy PM Justin Trudeau introduced legislation on Thursday to let you people blaze recreationally without having to keep an eye out for the po-po (or, if you’re in a French-speaking part, the peux-peux). And since the Canadian government is so(oooo) liberal right now, the bill is damn near guaranteed to pass. Remember, this is the same government that made it illegal to criticize Islam, that’s how progressive they are.
This will make Canada the second nation on Earth after Uruguay to have a legal and regulated pot market, and the first one that most people can point to on a map.
CNN did a breakdown of the new law, which includes this tidbit:
Yes, adults will be able to grow marijuanas. They can grow up to four marijuanas. Growing marijaunas is, of course, the most economical way to have a lot of marijuanas. Buying the marijuanas from someone else gets really expensive fast.
Justin put an interesting spin on this announcement via his Twitter account:
This is obviously a nod to the notion that it’s easier for kids to buy pot than alcohol, with the assumption that decriminalization will put them on an equal level, though if Justin thinks that allowing dirtbags to grow weed in their bedrooms will make weed less available to high school kids, well, then, he’s never spent any time around dirtbag weed dealers.
Canada has a ways to go before catching up with the world’s most chillaxed drug laws in the country of…
…Portugal! Were you expecting Amsterdam? Well, they might look the other way at herb, but those uptight Dutch fuddy duddies still haven’t decriminalized heroin. Portugal truly DGAF—possession of any and all drugs is legal—and the results have been a decrease in addiction and drug-related crime across the board.
Anyway, now that Canada is legalizing it, can this stunning piece of Canuck engineering finally gain the iPhone-like prominence it deserves? Behold the truly genius Knock Out, which combines beer bong, water bong, and gravity bong…in one!