Cops Nab A Mil In Cash After Busting Drug Runner For Driving W/ Phone In Hand

If you needed another reason not to be on your cell phone when you drive besides it being dangerous and illegal, here you go: cops might pull you over and find your massive stash of cash and pot.

That’s what happened to a now-unemployed and quite likely soon-to-be-dead drug runner in Alameda, California on Monday. The unnamed courier was driving along Interstate 580, yip-yapping away on his cell phone while committing a felony, when a California Highway Patrol officer pulled him over. A sedan in cahoots with the van pulled in front of the cop car, giving the van a chance to drive off and escape.

A chance.

Both the sedan and van were soon stopped. Eight pounds of pot were found in the sedan, along with 200 in the van. The Alameda County Narcotics Task Force soon linked the suspects to various storage lockers in the area, where they discovered another hundred pounds of dank, some dank-growing equipment, and a million bucks.

These guys must be moving some serious weight to stack seven figures off herb. Marijuana prices are plummeting in California.

According to Brian Shapiro, CEO of CannaSaver, the average pound price is down 60% to a measly thousand bucks, so you’d have to move a half-ton to bank a mil, and that’s not even accounting for taxes, because drug dealers don’t pay any.

But you’d have to move more than double to make that much in Uruguay, which boasts both legal cannabis and the lowest price in the world: it’s set by the government at a buck a gram. Yes, one dollar for one gram of cannabis, and with 454 grams in a pound, you’d have to unload 2,202 pounds of the stuff before you made a million bucks (or 28,465,220 Uruguayan pesos.)

Traditional Uruguayan warm-weather igloos

If you’ve got 200 pounds in a van and that van can fly, you’re better off vending in Norway, which is saddled with the highest price-per-gram of pot in the world: $21.90. If you can sell your stock without discounting—and judging by the stratospheric price, this is obviously a seller’s market with buyers in no position to bargain—200 pounds would net you $1,988,520.

These people eat caviar for breakfast; they deserve to be soaked for drugs

Just make sure not to use your cell phone when you’re flying the van.



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