Game Over: The First Woman Ever Just Got Pregnant From Anal Sex

A doctor in the U.S. about shit bricks whenever he found out that one of his patients actually became pregnant through anal sex. We’re pretty sure this is the first time in history this has ever happened so please bear with us as we explain the bizarro science behind this.  Haha, “behind”.

This woman who supposedly got pregnant from butt sex apparently had a condition called Cloaca, which occurs when your rectum, bladder and vagina don’t develop normally. Instead, the intestinal, reproductive and urinal functions are all working in the same orifice. Gross!

Anyway, this woman long ago discovered she had this issue and decided to get it fixed through surgery. Unfortunately, the surgery was goofed and her rectum was connected to her uterus. Way to go, doc!

CUT TO present day, this woman just got it on with Casanova via some butt sex and, voila, she’s pregnant. Now that they figured out how the hell that could even happen, doctors are wondering if it’ll actually be safe for her to birth this baby. We were going to say “poop baby” but that’s just not mature, c’mon guys.

“We knew about her condition, and we had followed her for a decade. After doing a whole bunch of X-rays, we determined that she got pregnant from having anal sex. The condition raised the urgent question of whether a safe birth would be possible for both mother and child as she did not have a viable vaginal passage. Dr Steiner said: “The obgyns couldn’t figure out a way to effectively deliver the baby through the rectum safely. So she had a C-section.”

In the end, the doctors say that not every woman should be worried about getting pregnant from anal sex. He says, “It’s one in a billion. The rarest of the rare. I’m not sure it should be a big issue for women generally.” One in a billion is a big enough number for us, doc!

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