There is a time and a place for everything. Twerking, a dance move invented by the CIA to determine which white people should be the focus of the next “accidental” Anthrax leak, is best saved for…well never, really. You can twerk in the club and you can twerk at home, but twerk anywhere else and people will look at you like you’re garbage.
Case in point: my senior year of college we went to Panama City Beach in Florida. Our first day there we saw a car full of ratchet chicks hit a dude on a bike as they were pulling out of McDonald’s. Instead of getting out and helping the guy they hit, the two girls in the back seat open their doors and start twerking on the sidewalk as “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea blasted out the car speakers. Realizing this would be the perfect time to look like trash, the two girls sitting up front got out and joined them.
Somehow it was more disturbing than this.
For those keeping score at home: we now have four girls twerking to shitty Australian pop, four car door speakers blasting “Fancy” and one potentially crippled biker still dying on the ground.
That was not an appropriate time to twerk.
Neither was this, yet everyone involved is still scarred for life to this day:
And hey wouldn’tcha know it, but a team of medics down in Colombia were recently fired for twerking next to their unconscious patient:
You know how teachers always say there aren’t any stupid questions, but if you go and ask them what the dumbest thing they’ve ever heard in class was they’ll have at least six trillion examples? Same thing here. “Oh no one ever says anything funny after the anesthesia kicks in” is the doctor’s way of saying “You pissed the bed almost immediately and kept calling all the male nurses ‘Daddy,’” just like how “Oh nothing interesting happens once surgery begins” apparently equates to “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?”
Remember kids: twerking kills
Thankfully, all five medics in this instance were fired. I’m all for having a good time, but this is wildly inappropriate and I would be pissed if I were that patient. “The respect for dignity of every patient is the most important thing in our clinic, therefore we strongly regret the inappropriate behavior of those who are working as professionals in the health sector, seen in the video,” a statement by Clinica Santa Cruz de Bocagrande read. “Their actions are against the dignity of the patient and are breaking the protocols and the political values of our institution focused on the quality and humanization of our service.”
We already know everyone agrees that this is fucked up, so instead of sharing your opinion in the comments tell me what your standard drunk and sober orders are at McDonald’s. If anyone guesses mine right I’ll post a lingerie photo in the next “Ask a Hottie.”
Hint: it’s not a fucking salad.