Breakups can be the worst—even if you’re a celeb with what sometimes seems to be endless access to rejuvenating beach vacations and relaxing spa treatments. (We normals have to make do with Two-Buck Chuck and a jade facial roller, but life, you know?) What definitely isn’t on celebrities’ sides during these times of trial and tribulation is the very energetic tabloid press, which loves a good story—even when it sometimes doesn’t check out. Such was the case with Olivia Munn, Anna Faris, and Chris Pratt, the love triangle that never was.
When Pratt filed for divorce in December after months of separation, we all knew the ol’ rumor mill had already been warming up. After some tabloids reported at the beginning of January that Munn and Pratt were “secretly dating” and that Faris was “furious” about it (which, can you even “secretly date” in Hollywood?), Munn took it upon herself to reach out to Faris and clear the air. What follows—thanks to Munn’s Instagram story Saturday evening—is a master class in sisterhood and emoji use.
“Hello!” she posted, the first of a series of story slides. “1. Not every woman is scorned and upset after a breakup. 2. Not every woman is “furious” at another woman for dating her ex. 3. So even if I was dating @prattprattpratt, some tabloids got me and @annafaris all wrong. 4. Women respect and love each other a lot more than some people like to think. 5. Chris and I would have a horrible celebrity name.”
Here she gifts us with the options: “Crolivia. Prunn. Chrisivia. Olipratt.”
And Munn has receipts to prove it. The next picture is a text conversation between Munn and Faris that is beyond delightful.
“Hey there!” Munn texted. “Sooo… I would never respond to random tabloid stories, but since we know each other I wanted to reach out to you personally to tell you the story about me and Chris dating has 0% truth. I’m not sure you already know it’s not true, or maybe didn’t care either way, but I just wanted to reach out personally to tell you it’s not true. Anyway, I hope you had an amazing holiday and an even better 2018 💛💛💛✨🌟💫”
Faris responded in kind—and didn’t live any read receipts lingering for long, judging by the lack of timestamp between the two messages.
“Hi!!!!,” she texted back. “Oh my god-this town is so fucking crazy-you are so sweet to text-I love you-having said that if you were my new sister in law I would be thrilled 🌝🌸😊😊😊-let’s please catch up soon”
If “🌝🌸😊😊😊” is code for “female solidarity is literally the best,” we’re here for it.
–Anna Faris Says the Idea That Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend Is ‘Overhyped’
–Olivia Munn Calls for a ‘Zero-Tolerance Policy’ for Sexual Assault in Powerful Essay
–Anna Faris and Chris Pratt Have Officially Filed for Divorce