Repeat this to yourself: the real world does not care about “body shaming,” the real world does not care about “body shaming,” the real world does not care about “body shaming.”
POP QUIZ: Does the real world care about “body shaming”?
ANSWER: No, no it does not.
Yet here I am, about to regale you with a tale of a bunch of special snowflakes who are (probably) fat and don’t like being reminded that no, being fat is not as socially acceptable as they’d like. Do I care that you’re fat? As long as it’s not impacting me, no. Do the building managers for LiviRae Lingerie in Kennesaw, Georgia, care that you’re fat?
No – but they don’t want your scantily clad body plastered all over their property either.
According to Daily Mail, LiviRae owners Molly Hopkins and Cynthia Decker are accusing their landlords of “body shaming” after they were asked to remove window displays that prominently featured plus-sized models:
Normally I’d be on the side of the landlords, since even hearing the phrase “body shaming” makes me want to drop-kick a bunch of hamplanets into a tiger pit so they’ll finally get some cardio that doesn’t involve lifting food from table to mouth. Sadly, that’s not the case today – I don’t see anything wrong with the ads. Yeah they’re all fat, but so what? At least none of them are on meth. The one in the red on the far right looks like she could be into some freaky shit since that dye job is awful and her lipstick matches her underwear, but as long as none of these models have visibly festering wounds or a nipple showing, who gives a fuck?
Besides, the only real difference between these ads and the ones they plaster across every Victoria’s Secret storefront is that I wouldn’t eat through a mile of thumbtacks just to get a chance to fart in the snatch of the one of the plus-sized ladies. I’d fart in Miranda Kerr’s snatch any day, but white trash Lena Dunham here?
Not so much.
After being told that the ads were in “bad taste” and that they needed to be taken down, Hopkins and Decker started a social media campaign with the hashtag #NoShameLiviRae in an attempt to get free publicity and get their names into the papers. “We did this campaign to promote body positivity and that when you came in here it’s a judgment-free zone,” Hopkins explained. “I’m sure it took a lot for every girl up there to overcome their fears and feel confident. The request to take down the ads was kind of a kick in the face, a slap in the face. It’s very hurtful.”
Depending on what side of this argument you landed on, you’ll either be happy or dismayed to know that in the end, LivieRae wasn’t required to take down their ads. “Due to the overwhelming response from our customers and fans, our property manager just called to let us know we can KEEP our window display intact,” Decker and Hopkins explained. “They said they do not believe in discrimination of any kind and support our ‘Real Bras, Real Women, Real Stories’ campaign and all of the images used on our storefront.”
Look – it’s stupid that they were asked to take the ads down, but it’s also stupid that we’ve gotten to the point as a society that you can call anything “body shaming” and social justice warriors will flock to your cause. Shit, I body shame myself in the mirror every morning but you don’t see ME starting a fucking hashtag about it. If I did start a hashtag, it would be something real and encouraging, like #StopGettingDoubleMeatballsOnYourPizzaYouFatFuck, or #DamnGirlThatCelluliteLooksBAD. Want something to change? Make me cry. Destroy my self-esteem until it’s down to the studs and then build me back up into a mansion. But for the love of god, don’t coddle me or else I’ll turn into these morons:
I think I’d rather be in a (food) coma.