People have kids for various reasons but one thing that is certain is that you just don’t know how tough parenting can be until you become one. And it’s only then some parents, mothers especially, are finding out that it’s not the joyful daily job that they had hoped for. Now there’s a Facebook page titled “I regret having children” where mothers are able to anonymously post their troubles, stories and overall annoyances to maybe find a little guidance. As for the rest of us, it’s reading more like a mental stress horror show.
Some fathers even use the page to seek advice as well.
This page is especially great for anyone who is thinking about having kids, but don’t realize what exactly one should expect beyond the parental fantasy that exists in their heads.
1. “None of my friends have kids and I feel like I’m slipping away from everyone and everything I used to love doing.”
Being one of the first people in your group of friends to have kids is like moving away to a town where you don’t know anyone. A few months down the road you’ll be looking at your Instagram or Facebook feed and see your friends out having a grand old time. Fuck, they could just be sitting in a movie theater, and you’ll realize how you’re literally not able to do any of that anymore within a moment’s notice. Now you have to plan and pay for a babysitter to just take out the garbage.
2. “I am really struggling with my 3 year old girl. She has always been a bad sleeper and today I had to miss work, as she only let me sleep for 2 hours. I then had a panic attack and a meltdown where I was telling my husband I will leave them as I can’t take this anymore.”
Speaking of not be able to do the things you used to do, future parents forget how much sleep they’ll be missing out on as well. And maternity leave only lasts so long, so unless your husband owns an airline or you live in a small town where rent is cheap, you’re going to have to go back to work. Hell, you may want to go back to work because staying at home with your child all day every day sounds like a fucking nightmare.
3. “I have two kids, though I never wanted any. The first was born because my (soon to be ex-) wife told me she was still on the pill; the second came along because she threatened to divorce me if we didn’t have another (it’s happening now so I should have called her bluff!!). I really don’t like kids and I hate having them during my weekends. I have lost my life completely, I cannot find another woman because of my baggage and the child maintenance is crippling me financially. Any coping strategies anyone can think of? Thanks”
This one is just too depressing to even think about.
4. “I am 30 years old and since I was very young I always dreamed about having a family… Then the nightmare began, I was so ill and depressed that I wanted to die. Even now that the hard time has past, I do not feel any love for this child. I wish I would never had kids. I realize I am not mother material, and I am terrified thinking how I am going to be forced to take care of it. Instead of happiness, I feel hate and wish the baby would just disappear. Is it possible that my future feelings will change? Because I do not like other children in general, i’d rather have pets.”
Did we mention how brutally honest this Facebook page was? Seems like her final sentence stating “I do not like other children in general, I’d rather have pets” kind of solidifies how much you’ll enjoy being a mother.
5. “17 years ago, after 3 miscarriages, I had my one and only son. Unfortunately, I did not pick the right father, as he turned out to be a womanizer 1st class and abuser (physically and mentally). After my son’s first birthday, I left him. His last words were: “if you don’t take me back, I will make you suffer for the rest of your life.”
Some of these posts aren’t always about being a parent necessarily. They can be about who their partners are and in turn how that’s affecting everything else in their life, including being a parent. Of course someone telling you “If you don’t take me back, I will make you suffer for the rest of your life” is something that you should run away from the moment you hear it.
Check out the rest of “I Regret Having Children” for more posts if you yourself are unsure if you want to become a parent or not. It’s not all smiling Instagram pictures.
Follow Break on Twitter @Break