Two amazing junk food items have been released to the public recently that will make you feel drunk or high just talking about them. First we have the “Whopperrito.” It’s the classic Burger King Whopper in burrito format! My god, we have the technology.
Without warning the Whopperrito has been unleashed to an unsuspecting public. What does this new and amazing flame grilled beef with special sauce delivery system mean for America? We know we love Whoppers and we love burritos, but can the two live together? What’s next, will Taco Bell be serving burritos as burgers? Will Pizza Hut make a bucket of fried pepperoni? Will Kentucky Fried Chicken start serving real chicken? I would eat all of these! Would you?
Get ready to have a whole new Whopper experience because the Whopperrito is being rolled out across every Burger King location in… Hermitage, Pennsylvania. There are currently no known plans from Burger King to release the Whopperrito nationwide. That is why I call on the good people of Hermitage to do their patriotic duty and buy and sell these Whopperitos on Ebay for the rest of us around the country. Just stuff them in an envelope and I’m sure they will last.
Next up Lunchables, the company that that turned wine party hors-d’oeuvres into meals for grade schoolers, is pushing a new product called the “Uploaded Walking Taco.”
If you have seen the ads it has all the ingredients of a taco, shoved into a microwave safe bag. You then are supposed to eat the thing straight from said bag. Like a fucking horse or something.
It sounds amazing: reminiscent of Fritos chili, a popular regional dish where chili is poured into a bag of Fritos. If they are telling me I can have something this delicious on hand at all times and all I have to do is pop it in the microwave, and then dump it directly into my mouth I have never been so “in” in my life.
Wait, this is the before photo?
What do you guys think? Which of these would you eat? Break Poll!
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