The power of Thousand Island compels you!
A woman in Wyoming has a totally valid reason why when she was preparing food in her friend’s kitchen it resulted in $2,500 of damage to the home. Her salad dressing was possessed. Demons love a good Ranch Dressing.
Divel McLean was making some food when her bottle of Dorothy Lynch Home Style Dressing went full Poltergeist. She says that the salad topping started moving on its own like something right out of a Paranormal Activity movie. I always thought Southwest Creamy Blue Cheese was the work of the devil but this is taking things to another level.
Although I think demons have really gotten old. Now they are just messing with an old lady’s dressing. This is what they used to be up to:
“I heard pop, pop, pop. I looked up, it was possessed. It was going crazy. It was shooting up in the air, to the side.”
She went on to say of her Buttermilk Beelzebub;
‘Well it’s hard to explain, I was attacked by a bottle of salad dressing. He probably thought I was in the whiskey or something.’
She had better get Ed and Lorraine Warren on the case immediately. It seems that the devil is in the details as an investigation later concluded that the company that makes Dorothy Lynch salad dressing (no relation to David Lynch) recalled the product from shelves. Bacteria in the bottles had been found to randomly start bubbling and foaming. Enough to cause all of that damage? Sounds like the government is trying to cover up the existence of demons in dressing.
Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney