College. If you don’t go, you’ll definitely end up working a series of underpaying jobs and never advancing toward something approaching adulthood and financial independence. If you go, that will only probably happen. Of course, your choice of major plays a major role, so make sure to put a lot of thought into it before you decide between Gender Studies and Sociology.
Of course, you’re also going to want to consider extra-curricular activities like binge drinking. It’s serious business. They shouldn’t even call drinking games “games”; it undermines how integral they are to the college experience. Perhaps “competitive drinking” or “drinking projects.”
Anyway, CampusStats.org just conducted a study of what competitive drinking projects are most popular and at which colleges using the Instagram hashtags #BeerPong, #BeerOlympics, #BeerRoulette, #3man, #ThreeMan, #Drinkapalooza, #DrinkingGames, #DrunkJenga, #Edward40Hands, #EdwardFortyHards, #FlipCup, #KingsCup, #PowerHour, and #Quarters.
(Not used: #cirrhosis, #someonedrewapenisonmycheek, #idontremembercallingthebouncerthenword, and #shecameontomebutnowshessayingitwasrape)
And the most frequently mentioned drinking competition in America is…Beer Pong, of course! Here’s the complete periodic table:
Now, Breakers, you’ll have to excuse me if I was unfamiliar with Flip Cup; my college years are a ways behinds me, and my favorite drinking game is “can I finish a six-pack of Lagunitas IPA before I finish watching this random Sopranos episode for the 500th time?” but we live in a world where people who probably didn’t play a lot of Beer Pong in college have made amazing advances in technology that allow me to find and embed a video to elucidate us all:
The study also ranked the five booziest college cities. Congrats, Hoboken, New Jersey.
Of course, being employed in the viral video industry, the first thought that popped into my head when reading that was, “hmmm, I bet this means there are a lot of good drunken fights occurring in Hoboken on YouTube.”
I was right! Enjoy this drunken double knockout:
Oh, and here’s the full graphic for the five booziest cities in America:
Unfortunately, the study did not track the popularity of drinking solitaire. Okay, I admit that’s a name I just made up for the incredibly impressive feat of drinking an entire pitcher of beer at once, like this guy
And this guy:
But I guess there’s a reason this isn’t popular on college campuses: nothing worth knowing can be taught.