Woman Joins ISIS, Super Bummed It's Not As Awesome As She Thought It Would Be

We all know that joining ISIS is just a real bad idea. But one woman was sold on the thought so much so, she moved to Syria with her 4-year-old son to start a life with the militant group. Why? Because of a guy.

30-year-old Laura Passoni met her future husband Osama Rayan at a supermarket they both worked for. Rayan and Passoni quickly became involved with Rayan suggesting that the two move to Rayan’s home of Tunisia as a family, promising a better life in a state where Islam is the official religion. They made the move but eventually ended up in Syria to join, you guessed it, ISIS.

Paradise City for any young couple.

Passoni then realized that joining her husband in Syria with his new group of friends wasn’t the perfect life she had hoped for but was promised. When asked why the hell she stuck around, she said “I was not forced to become a Muslim, I was persuaded. You just get washed away, like trying to stand against a waterfall. Once I got there thought I really got to know the meaning of terror.” Don’t go chasing waterfalls, people!

It’s nice that she wasn’t forced to become Muslim (even though she eventually became Muslim) but the nightmare was already well underway. Y’know, because it’s ISIS. Here’s just an idea of her day to day life.

1. She was not able to leave the house without her husband.

2. She could not hold her son in public without permission.

3. Her allowed hobbies were cooking, cleaning the house and taking care of the kids.

4. She could not use the internet or contact anyone on the outside.

No internet?! MONSTERS. She admits that the group was never violent to her (can’t help but question that one) but she did say that she was definitely a prisoner.

So how the hell did Passoni get out in order to tell her story? She’s keeping most of those details quiet but says she was able to get ahold of a cell phone in secret and contact her parents who lived in Belgium. This led to an exchange between Belgium authorities and Jahidists in Turkey for the release of Passoni and her son. She did have a second child with her husband Osama Ryan but it sounds like Rayan wasn’t letting go of his blood that easily.

However the Belgium authorities weren’t as understanding of Passoni’s situation. They were pretty firm on the thought that Passoni aided ISIS members and fined her over $17,000 and five years probation. See, people, this is the kind of mess that happens when you decide to do really dumb things like following a guy. Needless to say, she got off pretty easy in the end…considering it was, y’know, ISIS.


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