Most people are insecure about their bodies, or at least about some part of their body. According to the commenters here I have weird tits, stupid hair and a dumb face – which is cool, because I like my tits, hair and face. So no skin off my back here, keep on trying to crush my (struggling) self-esteem with as many insults as you can, because at the end of the day at least my vagina doesn’t look like a pair of roast beef curtains that got shredded by the family cat.
No, I will not be providing photo evidence. You have to take my word for it, just like you have to take Antonia’s word that her vagina looks like a Big Mac with all the toppings falling out.
Originally turned down by the NHS (healthcare socialism bullshit that the UK has) for surgery to “fix” her vagina, Antonia says that her labia once hung down 4 centimeters from her body, causing them to chafe and cause extreme pain. “My labia drop down 4 cm from the outside” she explains in the new BBC Three documentary My Unusual Vagina. “If I was to pull them I could get them down to my thigh.”
On the left, a “normal” vagina. On the right, a Big Mac with extra lettuce and a big dollop of mayo.
Tired of being told “I can’t wait to sleep with someone with a normal vagina” and “You’ve got a pair of balls” by ex-partners, Antonia forked over $3,700 for surgery to get her crotch nipped and tucked. It may seem like a large sum of money to you or me, but for Antonia it all came down to her being able to enjoy sex. “How are you meant to enjoy it [sex] when the main organ that you would use you feel completely embarrassed by, and then on the other hand it hurts physically,” she explained. “It is not an aspect of my life that is very explored and enjoyed.”
Three weeks after the surgery Antonia revisited the clinic, however her results didn’t match what she’d hoped to achieve. “What I have now I should just be happy that it is better than what I had before. I would say it looks like a double cheeseburger, I wouldn’t say it’s an actual sealed bun, but the meat is tucked inside it, it’s not like a Big Mac with the fillings hanging out.”
I dunno about you guys, but this story made me wonder…if my vagina was a fast food item, what would it be? It also made me hungry, but I’m on day three of my cutting diet and I have another 11 to go before I have a cheat day. Ignoring the bizarre craving I have to munch McDonald’s-flavored box, let’s figure out…